Sadly, pets have much shorter lives than us. When illness, injury or old age affects their quality of life, we need to start thinking about saying goodbye to them.

Euthanasia, or putting your pet to sleep, is sometimes the only way to ease their pain and suffering. It is a heart-breaking decision, but one that most have to face in order to give their much-loved pet a peaceful death. Sadly, it's very rare for a dog to die peacefully in their sleep at home.

Dogs can often hide or cope with discomfort, but common signs that your pet is in pain and may no longer have a good quality of life can include: 

• being withdrawn or quiet

• restlessness, unable to get comfortable or lying in odd positions

• avoiding physical contact

• excessive panting or shaking

• crying or yelping

• difficulty breathing

• disorientation or confusion

• loss of enthusiasm for walks

• not eating or drinking

• regular or persistent vomiting

• change in toilet habits or incontinence

When is the right time to say goodbye to my pet?

It's often difficult to know how your pet is really feeling, so it's important to talk with your vet. 

You and your family know your pet better than anyone else and, often, it's a case of them having more bad days than good. If medication is prescribed to tackle pain, it's sensible to set a time limit with your vet for improvements to your pet's quality of life. If treatment isn't enough to prevent further suffering, your vet is likely to recommend euthanasia.

We often feel guilty about whether we put our pets to sleep too soon, or too late, but these are normal reactions when we grieve and you're not alone in those feelings. Most pets reach a point when their quality of life is poor and a decision for euthanasia has to be made.

How should I prepare for my pet being put to sleep?

Once you've made the decision, it can take its toll emotionally. To help you through what can be a difficult time you may want to consider:

• taking some time off work to process what's happened

• taking a friend or family member with you for support

• asking for a house visit or at home euthanasia – please call to check our availability of this service

Booking the euthanasia appointment

Please call our lovely reception team to book your appointment.  We will usually make the appointment at the end of the day when the practice is a lot quieter.  We may be able to offer a home visit to carry out the euthanasia, but this depending on the availability of our staff at the time.

Our receptionist will talk through the following points with you:

• day and time of the appointment

• your preference after the euthanasia?  Options include:

  • • Communal cremation

    • Individual cremation

    • Your preference on which local pet cremation service we use

    • Home burial

What happens during euthanasia?

Some of the events described below may be hard to read, but remember that your pet quickly loses consciousness and cannot feel pain from that point onwards.

Before your pet is put to sleep, we will ask you to sign a consent form. Once this is done, the vet will begin the process.

1. Euthanasia is usually carried out by injecting an overdose of anaesthetic into the vein of the front leg, although the injection can be given to other areas of the body as well

2. Your pet will be held by a nurse and a small patch of fur is shaved off. All your dog feels is a tiny prick of the needle – the injection is painless

3. They may give a small cry as the injection is given – as with all anaesthetics, there is a brief feeling of dizziness as the drug takes effect

4. Unconsciousness follows within seconds, often before the injection is finished

5. Death occurs very quickly when the heart stops beating - it may take a little longer if your pet is very ill or has poor circulation

6. In the few minutes after your dog has passed you may see twitching or hear gasps of air. These are not signs of life - they are reflexes that naturally occur when they pass away

7. The eyes usually stay open and the bladder sometimes empties

Should I stay with my dog during euthanasia?

This is entirely your choice, but we often hear that it is comforting for owners to know that they were with their pet at the end. Your pet may also find it comforting to have you with them.

Try not to feel guilty if you feel unable to watch. We will do everything we can to look after and comfort your pet as they pass away and you can see them afterwards to say goodbye. 

What happens after euthanasia?

After your pet has passed away, you can choose:

• Communal cremation – your pet will be cremated with other pets and you will not receive any ashes back, or

• Individual cremation - your pet will be individually cremated and their individual ashes will be returned to you, although this is more expensive

• Home burial – after the euthanasia, you will leave with them to arrange your own burial at home.

• Keepsakes – if you would like a lock of fur, paw print or nose print to remember them, please don’t be embarrassed, just let us know and we can take one for you before they leave the practice.

If you are undecided, we can usually store their body for a short time while you consider your options. Some pet insurance plans can cover cremation, whilst others do not.

Which Pet Crematoria do you partner with?

We work closely with both pet crematoria on the Island and can arrange for your pet to be collected by them should you decide on cremation.  Please do contact them for advice at:

• The Lodge Crematorium, Main Road, Rookley – tel: 07759 916007 Barry & Vicky

• Pets at Rest, Burnt House Lane, Newport – tel: 01983 525335 Vikki, Sue & Aaron

Frequently Asked Questions

What can I do to remember my pet?

There are lots of things you can do to help remember your pet. You could:

• ask if you can keep a lock of hair – don't be embarrassed, we actually get this one quite a lot

• ask for a paw print or nose print

• make a scrapbook of memories

• write a goodbye letter and bury it with them

• write a poem or short story talking about your life with them

• share your loss with others who have been through it

Is it normal to feel upset?

Our pets are our trusted companions and beloved members of the family, so it's completely natural to feel upset. When you arrive back home, your house might feel emptier than usual. It'll be hard at first but take each day as it comes, try to treasure your memories and talk to family and friends about it.

Try not to feel embarrassed about showing your emotions – we expect you to be upset. It takes time to get over the loss of a loved one, and, although reactions differ, you will often feel a mixture of things, such as sadness, loneliness, anger, guilt or doubt.

Though it's natural, try not to feel guilty or blame yourself – the decision for euthanasia is taken with your dog's best interests at heart to avoid them suffering.

How can I support my children through pet loss?

For children it can be especially upsetting as it may be their first experience of death. Children need support even if they are not outwardly upset.

They may feel that they have lost their best friend, an important member of their family and they may feel very sad and lonely. Feelings of numbness, disbelief and denial may be common. Sometimes anger or guilt may also be felt for something they did or said that makes them think they contributed to the death. The way in which children, young people and those around them deal with pet loss may lay the foundation for how they cope with other losses later in their life.

Children’s reaction to the loss of a pet

Most children form strong and special bonds with their pets and they are an important member of the family. The death or loss of a pet may be particularly painful if:

• the pet was very special, such as a first pet

• there have been other losses in the child’s life, for example the death of a grandparent, loss of friends by changing schools or the break-up of parents or other family members

The age of the child and their concept of death may also influence how they react to the loss of a pet:

• Under 2 – they have little concept of death, but may miss the presence of an animal and will be aware if others are grieving.

• 2 – 4 year olds - have difficulty grasping that death is permanent and may commonly ask: “Where is Sammie going? Why isn’t he moving?”

• 5 - 10 year olds may ask: “Why don’t the eyes close? What happens to him when he goes in the ground? Does euthanasia hurt? Will my other pets be lonely?”

• 9 onwards - most children are aware of the biological finality of death and they may be curious about the aspects surrounding death.

• Adolescence is a time of high emotions and they may be less willing to share feelings or talk about real issues. In fact they may feel closer to their pet than with other members of their family 

Useful tips when supporting a child through pet bereavement

• Consider other possible losses they may be experiencing which may be influencing their grief

• Make sure the child doesn’t hear about the pet’s death from someone they don’t know

• Always be honest about the circumstances – don’t pretend that the pet has “gone missing” if, in fact, it has died

Include them when discussing options or making decisions about the pet

• Don’t underestimate their feelings - encourage them to talk about their pet and express their emotions; writing a story or poem or drawing a picture of their pet can be helpful

• Try to understand the importance of the animal and what the child has lost; don’t trivialise or minimize their grief

• Use language that the child will understand – straightforward words such as “dead” or “died” are more appropriate than “put to sleep”, which may cause some confusion and anxiety for younger children

• Be prepared to talk about how the animal died, but don’t include distressing details

• Inform their teacher if the child is very upset, but do so discreetly

• Don’t be afraid to share your own feelings of sadness

Saying goodbye to their pet

Planning ways to say goodbye and to remember a pet can be helpful and comforting for children and young people.  Let them help:

• Children can choose the spot, do some of the digging or put flowers on the body

• They may want some kind of ceremony, to invite friends and family

• They can select bulbs, plants or even trees for planting around the grave 

• If cremated, they may want to keep the ashes in a special casket or bury them in a special place

• Ashes can be scattered on their favourite walks and special places in the garden

Encourage them to remember their pets and celebrate their lives by:

• writing poems or letters

• painting pictures and making models

• making a scrapbook with photographs or a memory box

Will my other pets feel loss?

Like us, pets also show signs that could be interpreted as grief when an owner or fellow pet passes away. Behaviours can vary, but may include crying, searching for their friend or loss of appetite.

Should I get another pet?

Getting another pet after you've had to say goodbye will depend on your circumstances and how ready you feel. 

If you do choose to get another pet, it's worth thinking about whether you'll have the time to dedicate to them. This might be more difficult if you're still grieving, but many people say that a new family member helps them to move on and process their grief. While you will never forget your pet, a new one can bring joy and laughter back into your home.

Getting another pet if you have children

If you children, then as well as the consideration above, you should also consider:

• Timing is very  important - getting a new pet immediately, won’t take away the child’s pain.

• Talk it through with them - make sure that any new pet is not seen as a “replacement”.

If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact us - we're here to help!